So, I’m going to share something I’ve never shared with anyone. But this is a true moment where I knew I was “touched by God”.
I had just come out of a 7-month domestic violence situation. It was ugly. If it weren’t for my Mother who came to rescue me out, I don’t know where I would be today.
On my return to my hometown, where I had just become a single mother of not 1, not 2 but 4 young kids (including twins) I didn’t even know where or how to start but I knew I needed to start somewhere to get my life back on track. One thing I was sure of was, not returning to church. Although, I was raised in the church at that moment I didn’t care about anything that had to do with the church. But we all know that’s about to change right!
A special service was happening at the church my Mother attended and she invited me. I immediately responded, “NO”! But as always, my Mother was persistent until I gave in. As I entered the church with such a numb feeling I sat all the way in the back. Now, listen closely as I explain to you exactly what happened as if it were just yesterday. Mind you, this happened over 18 years ago. There was a special female evangelist on the altar about to preach that evening but all of a sudden she started crying. And I don’t mean just any cry, like bawling out crying. I was wondering what in the world is going on with this lady. As she took the mic she still was bawling out until she requested the whole church to stand. I, with my unholy, undeserving self, stood up slowly with no care in the world. Immediately, she looked up and straight at me. She pointed at me and said, “you, come up here”. In my mind, I said, “oh, here we go”. See, I have had many false prophets come to me and try to speak stuff but only God knew the truth. In the end, many of them later apologized. As I walked slowly to the altar, she bent down towards me and as I looked up to her she said the following two things:
First, I want to tell you that if you did not leave your situation you would have encountered death. (ummmm) (speechless)
Second, those sucidal thoughts that you have told no one about will be gone tonight! (total speechless)
Who was this lady and how did she know what I was going through! I didn’t know what to do but cry out. No, let me rephrase. I wailed. And I wailed loud as if everything that I held from within just came out of me. Every pain, every negative thought, every depressive moment, every emotional feeling, every last physical strength I had…everything I wailed it all out that evening. From that day forward I never looked back and always trusted more and more in God like never before.
When you read this part of my life, just know that no matter what you are going through “appreciate your journey, recognize your strength, you are not a failure“