I ignored all of the signs in my last relationship. But I wouldn’t say it was a waste of ten years. There is a lesson in every mistake as well.
But this one was a difficult one because I can honestly say, and many people that knew us, know that I put in a lot of myself into this marriage to try to make it work. I lost myself totally in a facade that was meant for the outer world and the “church” to see. I smiled through it all even when I didn’t want to. But inside was a lost self screaming for someone to see what I was seeing and feel what I was feeling. I felt so out of place. Like I didn’t even belong. No one could tell we had issues and no one even thought of confronting me. What’s funny to me is that once the marriage was over, everyone then had a say. A little too late but all is well. I prayed and prayed to God to help me make this work. I thought all this time I was the problem and it was my fault. To me “divorce is not an option” but unfortunately, some circumstances differ. After the divorce, I knew immediately. And when I left and felt a peace that surpassed anything I could ever understand, I knew that it was never meant to be.
What I learned is that I need not rush into anything and not to invest so much in a person that will not invest as well. I also learned never to lower my standards just because of loneliness. I’m embracing my singlehood and loving it. Until the right one steps up, I will continue to pray, slay and wait.
Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships. Stephen Covey