I hit the panic button! I’ve never experienced this before in my life but it happened. An anxiety attack!
I was just coming out of a procedure when the doctor immediately rushed in to tell me that they couldn’t complete the procedure because I had stopped breathing. All I wanted was a ginger ale to soothe my throat, I wasn’t ready for any bad news. But I couldn’t help thinking about the short dream I had while I was “under” during the procedure. See, I don’t have many dreams, I have sleep apnea. Hence, the reason for the procedure. But when I do dream, it’s usually God showing me something.
The dream felt like a flash show but it was a picture of my three boys entering the Marines all in one year. Then and there is when the panic attack started. I felt my throat closing in and I couldn’t breathe. I’ve never felt so nervous or scared but it all came together at that moment. I held it in for so long because I was trying to be tough for my family until now. All the nurses around me kept telling me, “just take deep breaths” but it didn’t seem to work. Then I looked over to my friend, one of my greatest best of friends, who happened to take me to this procedure and she had this calm aura about her and silently she murmured, “just breathe”. I took another last deep breath and it was over. It was the most vulnerable moment in my life.
Since that day, I have learned to slow down for my mental health, my physical being, and my spiritual life. We get consumed with “busy” in our lives and forget to breathe. Now, I’m never in a hurry for anything and I think before I speak. I also don’t worry as much about life. Have a cup of tea and just relax.
My new motto is:
“Your God is bigger than your problem”